Peace (2)

Peace. What is Peace? A peace of mind. A peaceful heart? A peaceful candlelit dinner between two lovers? Peace comes from within and it's given in times when we need it the most. Even during the times we don't realize we needed it, because, trust me, everybody needs to find peace. And we find peace in the darkest corner where nobody would ever suspect a shed of light. But a darkness doesn't necessarily mean a literal darkness. There could be a darkness within the blinding light. Incognito. Deception.

So there I was lying in the darkness, my brain settled on the plump pillow, not sure what thoughts compiled in my brain, probably the thoughts of the day. Not wanting to slump down the school halls again. No, don't make me do it again. I cannot face them. Not again. Not ever. But I knew deep down I had to. How can somebody be your friend one day and forget about you the next day and all the days following? How can people put on a glamorous show and pretend to be your friend and fool everyone. And sometimes you feel like the fool. I know I did. Like puppets. Everybody plays their part. Their scripted words. Their staged expressions. It's like you can almost guess their words hauntingly memorized like song lyrics. Top 40! Only this wasn't Top 40, even though they acted like it. This was middle school. And while these pretend friends saw me as weak-minded and slow, my heart saw their darkness through their blinding light they had portrayed to fool everybody else. They were the fools. At first, I was the fool for believing them. As I laid there and without thinking about it, the light had visited me once again. Surrounding me like friends at a party. And they embraced me with their peace. That kind of peace a smile awakens on your lips and doesn't go away.